Pappaw was hospitalized not too long ago. He was at the same hospital my Mammaw passed away in. Pulling up to his driveway and seeing the firetruck and ambulance there, and not knowing, took my breathe away. He's older now, 93, and I know that we all will be called home one day, at our appointed hour, but I just don't want his to be any time soon. The hospital he was in, the memories of Mammaw being in the ICU for so long, are something that I've tried by best to block out of my memory. But every time I'm there and I walk through the doors and step in the elevator, the memories rush back, all at once, and catching my breath is the hardest thing to accomplish.
It's not something I talk about often though. It's not a subject that I can bring up in casual conversation without tears rolling down my cheeks.
I remember not too long after Mammaw passed and I had just started a new job, the one I'm still working at over four years later, I went to eat lunch with Pappaw, and he told me "Your Mammaw would be so proud of you." And I remember leaving his house and getting in my car and just crying. Sad tears, happy tears, the I'm so lost right now kind of tears.
My aunt's father-in-law passed away recently. He had cancer and had at the most almost two months of life left in him when he found out.
I guess all of this is just to really remind me to hold tight to the ones I love, over use I Love You's, and that even when they are gone, they'll still be with me.
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